Countdown

It is almost the end of July. I got the "Wyland Letter" in the mail yesterday...the signal that school really is going to start again soon. It's the letter that welcomes the staff back for the start of the new year and tells us when and where we have to show up. It actually included a couple of nice surprises; 1) late start on the two teacher days - I don't have to show up to work until 9:30 (insert cheer here!) It will be the only time until next June. 2) Lots of teacher time in our classroom and a cancelled annual "rah, rah" meeting that no one really appreciates. That is a positive side of budget cuts, I guess. : ) The letter spurred me into action - something I have definitely been lacking this summer. I actually pulled out the "school stuff" that I haven't touched since I brought it home in June. Plowed through it, started working on a website for my classroom and began to try and think about going back. Next week I'll actually have to show my face in the building and begin trying to put my room together for the year. Next week I'll have to face change again...Kathleen really, truly won't be there. She'll be in another building. Yes, she'll still be my friend, but she won't be down the hall and that's a tough thing to absorb. So for most of the time since we got that bit of news I've kind of been living in denial. I'll have to face it soon enough. Like many things in my life...

Faith's birthday is in a few weeks. August 14 will mark the day we should be planning for a birthday cake and too many pictures and grandparents arriving and stuffing too many people into our house for a first birthday party. Instead, Jamie and I are struggling to figure out how to celebrate a day that feels rather hollow. We will likely go visit her grave; maybe we'll release some balloons. I'm working on a photo book that I hope to have finished for us by then. I know it's not what we always envisioned, but it's what we have. I might make a pie. Neither Jamie or I are big cake eaters, but I want us to do something that will become a tradition to mark Faith's birthday. We'd eat an apple pie...

Life is not what I thought it would be. I have lived an incredibly blessed life, for the most part. I have my family, including my two 86-year old grandparents that live 15 minutes away. I have a husband that I love dearly (even when it's difficult) and who loves me and adores me. I am healthy and have friends that are the definition of incredible. I love my job, as jobs go, and work with a group of people that have made the last year possible. Life may not be turning out how I pictured, but I still think I'm pretty lucky. That says something.

Erica