The title of my blog today reflects my feelings - about everything, lately. It is also a reference that only my dearest teaching friends will truly understand. : ) As I was saying...my plate is full.
Today I sat through a meeting about insurance costs...ugh. I won't bore you with the hideously cost-prohibitive details, but needless to say I will definitely need the insurance soon because it's going to give me an ulcer paying for it. Enough said.
It is difficult to explain to someone what this life is like. This life where my life doesn't actually feel like MY life...if I could tell you how many times a day I think, "I can't believe this is my life..." I was talking about Jamie's cancer this afternoon (the lovely and expensive pre-existing condition that it is) with the insurance lady and when I said he'd been cancer free for nearly five years, my dear friend sitting with me said, "Wow...it's been that long?" Yes, it has...five years, almost, since we heard those dreaded words: "You have cancer."
Jamie was 28 years old when he was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer - a disease that occurs 90% of the time in people over the age of 50. He was 28. Yes, you read that correctly - 28. It was not a typo. No family history - just a fluke of nature. Kind of like Trisomy 18...no rhyme or reason or cause...just a fluke of nature. We're getting really tired of hitting these odds in this life. We can't hit the Mega Millions or the Powerball, but give us crappy odds and we'll hit them every time. Without fail. Every. Single. Time. Can I tell you how little, "Well, the odds are against it..." mean to us? Really....
I have thought a lot of Faith recently, for obvious reasons. Her birthday was August 14. She would have turned 1 year old. We should have been planning how to cram too many people into our tiny house and taking pictures of her frosting-covered fingers and hair. Instead, we visited her grave that Saturday. And we went out to dinner that night - just Jamie and I. And as we sat there waiting for our dinner to be delivered to our table, the staff broke out in "Happy Birthday" - at the table directly next to ours. Jamie and I shared a wry smile - because to us, clearly, the angels were singing Happy Birthday to our sweet girl. We left dinner and went to Marc and Sarah's house and shared the apple pie I'd made for Faith's birthday. And we ate pink cupcakes that Mason and Sarah made for her birthday. So, while I didn't get any pictures of Faith eating her birthday cake, I did get pictures of Mason eating cupcakes for her. With Sarah's permission, here are a few pictures...
I hope to post some pictures soon of our family celebration and balloon release that we shared just last weekend. My plate's a little full right now, though, so you will have to wait a few more days!
Erica
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